Thursday, February 23, 2012

Why Erotica is a Wonderful Thing

I am so glad that there are erotica writers and erotic short stories. They allow us to connect with our inner being in a whole new way.

Let me tell you a story. I grew up in a very conservative community where sex was something dirty and not spoken about. It was understood that you would do it once you got married, but before then: don't talk about it or think about it. I knew so little about it and I was terrified of it. Sex was always hidden behind secrecy and talked about like it was evil.

When I went to college I remained a virgin. I hadn't even ever masturbated. In my Junior year a friend shared a book of erotic short stories with me and it opened me to feelings that I'd never had before.

It was beautiful.

My body felt warm and comfortable as I read. Everything about it felt right. It was because of erotic fiction that I began my journey towards a healthy relationship with sex and my own body.

I said recently that fantasy and reality are very different things when it comes to erotica. What turns me on is not remotely related to anything I would want to happen in real life. I don't think that's a bad thing. I think, rather, that it is fascinating that human beings have such a variety of ways to tap into the sexual energy within us.

It often gets tapped in unexpected ways, and that fresh new perspective can bring delight from surprising directions.

I enjoy my erotic fiction. I don't worry when I am turned on in fiction by something that is illegal in real life. My stories tend to have problems with consent on the part of the man. Real men I would never demean in this way. The men in my life are people I respect and revere. In fiction, with fake people, I can explore fascinating, deep, and dark places in the human soul.

Without the outlet of erotica, I would be afraid of where repression might take me.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Two New Stories

The first is a very brief fantasy, almost just a single moment, really. The description is: "Though Chuck is barely able to move after a car accident breaks most of his bones, he doesn't want to let his daughter down when she asks him to go outside for some fresh air."

The second is a slightly longer short story and I'm quite proud of it. The description is: "Judy is sneaking her boyfriend, Derek, away from the thugs who have already broken most of his bones. She can't do everything herself, though, and the handsome stranger who comes to her rescue is more than just a helpful guy."

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Fetish Map

I ran across this on another blog and found it really fascinating. I wonder if everyone is represented on here? Someone must have put a lot of work into this!

There's so many different sort of kinks out there. It makes me wonder if no one really gets to adulthood without at least one odd sexual connection. What odd connections our minds and bodies make between sex and other experiences during our formative times!

My kink is in the medical bondage section. Is yours represented? :)

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday - Lost Lover

I'm joining in at Six Sentence Sunday where people showcase six sentences of their work! Here is my teaser from my recently published short story Lost Lover...
He entered her again, this time facing her. Arching his back into it, his stomach rubbed against her clit with each movement. Nicki grabbed hold of his neck and drew his mouth to hers while he thrust. Her fingers dug into the back of his head, gripping his hair. His tongue traveled across her teeth and dipped into her mouth, finding her own tongue. He tasted like wheat beer and mint.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Fantasy and Real Life

I was watching a documentary last week about pornography. It had a negative bias to it, definitely pushing the idea that what our culture values in porn will have an effect on how we treat people and think of people in real life. My own experience makes me think that's not really true.

Have you ever felt absolutely disgusted by what turns you on in your head?

I know I have many times. I was sleeping with someone once and we were talking about multiple orgasms. I told him that, even though I'm a girl, I've never had more than one in a day.
"Why?" he asked. "You wouldn't have a refractory period to wait out."
True, but my reasons were completely different. The images that I go to in my mind to get myself off really disturb me.

So once I've orgasmed, I can't stand to keep thinking about it. The pleasure is quickly overwhelmed with disgust and shame. Or it would be, except I just immediately move my mind to something else before I can think too much about it!

To my surprise, he expressed similar feelings about his own fantasies.

Maybe, I thought, most people have some things that both turn them on and creep them out at the same time. Things they would never, ever want to express in real life, but that just gets them over that orgasmic edge for whatever reason they don't understand.

And so I took one of my fantasies that disturbs me and I wrote it into a story.

Let me tell you, writing that story turned me on like crazy! I couldn't believe how hot it was making me. And I thought there must be other people out there who would be turned on by this story too.

My stories tend to be about men being powerless and humiliated. I don't worry about that as much as I used to since I watched that porn documentary and they showed clips from many of the most popular pornos. What they had in common was women being put into submissive and very humiliating situations. So, I just do the same sort of thing to the guys. 

Doesn't mean that I'm like that in real life! My boyfriend will tell you, I'm actually very sweet and I like him to be strong and in control. You'd never guess that from reading my stories!

Here's the description of the one I just finished. I'm quite proud of it...

Jack is immobilized by a multitude of broken bones after a skiing accident. He hires Lucy to take care of him, but she seems to have more of a taste for torture than comfort and Jack is at her mercy.

***“Lucy? Are you there?” Jack’s hoarse voice was barely over a whisper. He tried to lift his head to look around the room, but he was held tightly in place by the brace around his neck, his chin resting on its molded plastic. He was leaned slightly back in a wheelchair with a pillow behind him and so, only being able to move his eyes, he couldn’t take in much of the room. ***


Monday, February 6, 2012

The Strangest Way I Ever Started Dating Someone

I'm not coy. I say what I mean and I ask for what I want. I think that might be a bit unusual!

 At one point I found myself dating someone casually who was really driving me crazy. Any time I asked to spend time with him he acted like I was putting too much pressure on him.

Even when we were hanging out and I said I wanted to have sex, that was too much to ask.

 For example, one week I had gone seven days since I last saw him. We hung out with friends, then went back to his place. He hugged me and asked what I wanted to do. I smiled and said, "You know what I want to do." He pulled back and said, "Way to put pressure on the evening."

 So we watched TV and didn't have sex. We didn't have sex that evening when I slept over. We didn't have sex in the morning.

 I thought I could at least count on sex once a week since that was the only regular time I could see him, but it seemed not! I was going out of my mind with desire and if I tried to tell him that, he just got upset.

 So I decided I needed to start seeing someone else to take the pressure off the first guy. We were, as he often and emphatically stated, NOT in a relationship and NOT exclusive. I looked around at my life and tried to figure out what other guys I knew and which might be good people to sleep with.

One caught my attention right away. He was the friend of a close friend and had started hanging out in our group a lot. When I first met him he was dating someone, but they had recently broken up and I heard him once complaining about how he hadn't gotten laid in a long time. He was cute and I had liked him when I first met him, so an idea hatched in my mind.

 After another frustrating evening with the guy I was dating, I emailed my friend's friend and told him that I thought we had a common problem that we could help each other out with. Namely, neither one of us was getting laid.

 In retrospect, that email could have made things super awkward, but I was pretty confident that he'd be open to it. He wrote back and said he was interested, but would like to discuss it in person and figure out exactly what would happen. Sounded reasonable to me and we met up the next week for dinner. I explained that we could either 1) just sleep together and not ever think there would be the possibility of a relationship (the fuck buddy arrangement I explained in the last post or 2) we could sleep together and in the meantime see if we were compatible for something more. He said he didn't know me well enough to know which he would prefer, so we decided to go on some dates first.

 Two weeks later I didn't even have the desire to see the first guy any more! I was stunned to discover that my friend's friend was a fantastic match for me. We had a lot in common and similar outlooks on things. The physical chemistry was good and he had no problem fucking me every time he saw me.

 Without a doubt this is, to date, the strangest way I have ever started dating someone!